Some snippets of wisdom Suzi recorded for posterity:

"And you know, you can come off as bitchy, but talking to you like that is like putting the key in the ignition of the bitch engine."

"It's not 1933, I'm not wearing a bustle. Back. The fuck. Off."

"Fuck guys named after plants and shit, or rocks. Nothing good ever comes from that."

"Obviously my families laziness outweighs their fatness. The only Oreos that are left are the ones that are hard to get to cause they're in the corners."

Suzi on feeling violated -
Suzi: "Y'know he was fine witht he ass slap in the shower, but this was a ball cup on the bus!"

Me: "I love you."

Later -
Guy on Daisy of Love -
"When I got here I was just a funy guy named flex, and now, I got this sensitive side daisy brought it out of me..."

my continuation -
"So I uh ... I let her put a finger in my ass ... I uh. I never let a chick to that to me before and ... ya know I think I uh ... I kinda liked it ... so I don't know what to do with that."

Mauro's addemdum -
"When she finished, she let me sniff it...and... and it smelled like victory."

Me on why it's not okay to stay with someone abusive, though the rest of the time they're a nice person -
"Yeah? Well, fuckin' O.J. Simpson has friends too!"

Louie on ripe mangos -
"It's like getting fucked in the mouth by the Mona Lisa!"

Louie on Colonial Virgina vacations -
"Git yo eye outta that sextant boy! No peepin'! ... Two bits a gander, sugar!"

Me trying to tell a story with my sister in the room:
Me: So get this shit! *looks over at younger sister* Sorry, I'm just really mad about it...."

Louie: "It's After midnight."

Suzi: "Yeah after midnight is when the Andrew Dice Clay comes out in your sister..."

Me: (in Dice's voice) "Hickory Dickory Dock ... I can't finish that joke in front of her."

I have a few updates over on my other blog so, go see that.

here are some random snippets of conversation:

"You wouldn't like me when I'm astounded" - Louie while playing with magnets
"Oh I forgot about that already." - Louie 2 minutes after when I said how funny that was.

Ah Louie. The cause of, and solutions to, all of life's problems.

So! Yesterday was the 4th. We had a cookout, and it was great. I'm getting ahead of myself though.

Let's start with my morning.

Stephanie my little sister came into my room around 11:45 and said “Micha's here and she has a dog with her.” in a matter of fact way. As if this was routine.

7 months ago, this would have been routine.

I pulled myself off the couch and wandered into the living room where my mother said to me “Micah's here.” again, in a rather blasé tone.

I said “Am I on drugs right now? Did you both just tell me Micah's here?” my mother confirmed that no, I was not in fact on drugs, and yes, my former bestie was outside waiting for me with a rather large dog.

( The rest, and pictures. )

I don't even want to talk about the benefit last weekend. Ungh. I will however talk about yesterday because it was a lot of fun, and we didn't really do much of anything.

So yesterday afternoon we (Martin and I) invited some of the kids to come over and hang out. Suzi and Jenn showed up a good 2 hours after Suzi had called and said she'd be here soon. Apparently there was some more drama with the dreaded X's. I sure hope I don't have to go on down to wherever in the south they are and kick the shit out of some crazy.

Anyway, Jenn and Suzi got here and we decided to have a big ol' cook out. Suzi and Martin went to the store and I stayed at the hizz with Jenn trying to just chill out.

Downside to still living with the fam is that sometimes I'm perceived as rude and then panties get bunched and I have to deal with smoothing things over.

Thank god Suzi brought over vodka. She's my hero.

Jenn changed out of her adorable retro outfit when the kids came home from the store and we prepped food and all went outside for some grilling goodness. Sean showed up just in time and OH EM GEE! Tasty foods were had! All rejoiced and then the drinking commenced.

We were slightly less rowdy than a room full of people getting drunk ought to be, but not by much. I was very pleased to see Martin and Sean getting along and having a lot of things to talk about, and Jenn jumping in with them talking about wow and other stuff.

Suzi and I bonded over needless make up application, and then rejoined the rest of the group while Jenn talked to her bestie and her sister. At some point it was decided pancakes were a necessity and rather than go to ihop and drop 20 bucks, we decided to go back to Sean and Suzi's apartment and on the way we would stop at the store and buy supplies.

While I was drunk I decided I like big high up cars with air conditioning as that is the exact opposite of my car.

Jenn's summation of 'Carmen' was hilarious, and I think we scared the hell out of the check out kid who was out for his smoke break when he arrived.

We wandered around the store for a little while then made off to Suzi's where more drinking and cooking happened. Suzi and Jenn made crepes, which were filled with all manner of tasty insanity and Suzi made mac n' cheese which was doctored with real cheese and various spices, and salsa. Delish.

After a time Sean was showing up some video games including 'Prototype' *drool* WANT! Around 4am we decided to get Jenn home. We all crowded into Suzi's car (sans Sean) and made our way to en town.

On the way there were ridiculous songs playing and there was a sing along to Mr. Big's 'Next to be with you' and it was very fun. As we left Jenns house I just remember that the sun was starting to come up and we were blasting 'Paradise City' and singing along loudly while I threaded my fingers through the air whipping by the car and decided that, as silly and frustrating as it all was this had become one of my favorite days in a long time.

I woke up around 1pm and I am feeling fine, not sick or hung over or sluggish, but I think I'd better go pay some attention to my boyfriend who's been sitting quietly while I rattled all of this off. We're gonna go see transformers.

Today is awesome too.

<3

The Benefit is this weekend! Be there or DOOM!

I am working at Wizard World on Sunday. I will be at the Hero Initiative booth.

WITH STEVE DILLON!!!!
(Those of you not into comic books - Steve Dillion is the Artist who did Preacher, and a lot of the art in Hellblazer)

*SQUEE**SQUEE**SQUEE**SQUEE**SQUEE**SQUEE**SQUEE**SQUEE*

Sometimes Suzi and I say amusing things to eachother:

On dating a lazy gamer -

Suzi: "It's not like it's even that hard! A,A,A,A,A,A,A,A,A,A,A,A,A,A,A, Special room!"

Me: "I know! Just combo that shit into a roundhouse!!"

Christ. I wish I could sleep. 

The most frustrating thing is, I can't even take anything to make me sleep because I need to have the ability to let my body wake me up. I have sleep apnea bad enough that I probably should be on a respirator but as long as I can wake up when I stop breathing I'm okay. For the time being.

This whole weight loss bet with Mauro can only help with the apnea.

I tried going to bed around two but now I'm up again.

Why can't I be back in dreamland having fucked up pineapple express dreams with Uncle Danny and Uncle Joey. I think my body just hates sleeping a full nights sleep.

Thanks to Nick at night, if I do get to sleep any time soon, I can only imagine what hijinks will ensue with the Nanny or Carl Winslow.

I did get to watch the season 5 of  Weeds premier. It was so-so, but I think this season is going to be good.

I'm so damn tired that I feel like pitching a fit.

On the upside of things, in the weight war against Mauro, haven't weighed yet this week, but I have lost 11.25 inches over my whole body.  So that's good.

My computer crashed while I was writing this.

This dream was like a cross between ... black books, full house, pinapple express and something else. Commentary in parenthesis.

So I had this random ass dream where a friend of mine (A friend I don't actually have) named Gopher (Apparently Keith) comes over to chill and brought another friend of his who ended up being this older guy who only wanted to listen to NPR and talk about how smart he was.

Then Suzi came over, and we tried to come up with a list of everyone we knew who could hook us up so we could get away from this dude. Then out of the blue Micah calls and I am like "No I'm mad at you" but somehow we end up talking and she apologizes for being such a shit friend, then comes over. We ask her to find a hook up and somehow we end up making this big list and calling a bunch of people, and finally we find someone.

Suzi decides to go pick up with Micah, Dave Coulier (Why do I know how to spell that without looking it up?), and Bob Saget. (wtf?) So it's someone's bright idea to send Bob in to buy. He comes out talking about how nice the person was and he had them all wrong before blah, blah, blah, and then tells Suzi and Micah that he gave everyone's names and contact info to the nice lady. Suzi screams at him "Thanks Bob! Thanks for fukin' us!" and after calling him an idiot and taking off, Dave (Who goes between getting called Dave and Joey) calls from a pay phone to tell us what happened.

Moments later Bob is arrested. Shortly after that cops show up at home where of course there's nothing to be found but they come in a tear the place up anyways. They throw out the margarita I was making so that I could tolerate Keith's(Gopher/Keith) friend smart pants Mcgee. Cut to next morning, somehow we've gotten Bob out of Jail, I am assuming the long winded boring NPR guy helped us somehow but I am not sure.

Weird. My head is a strange place.

So the long and short of life lately is up and down.

In the up column, it’s not cold out anymore. Photoshop and Illustrator are working out nicely with the lil tablet.

I’ve added new venues to my repitoire and just in time probably.

Due to a turn of events, this, my most recent post is being brought to you by laptoptomus. My widdle 10.1 inch Acer netbook baby.

In the minus column panic attacks, being broke (laptopotomus was a gift) and feeling blah sometimes.

Overall I feel like I have more in the good column lately so I am gonna try and be pleased with that. I am trying to make something of myself and if this summer pans out I might be taking off.

I also miss some people, but not enough to swallow my pride and back down. I’m right, and for once I am sticking with it.

In unrelated news to any of this – Pushing daisies is an ADORABLE show. I wish that is was still on the air. Dollhouse isn’t half bad either.

Here’s a shot from laptopotomus’s web cam -

Bjork

So I've been crazy sick since Tuesday. Basically, I need a young priest and an old priest.

I was coughing so hard I couldn't control all of the muscles in my body, which lasted for 3 days.

Since then, I can count everything I've eaten on my fingers. Today is the first day I've had anything substantial in my body that hasn't made me feel more sick. Today the coughing is not so bad. I've run through 3 boxes of tissues.

I've been sleeping on and off, I feel weak and a little light headed. I'm taking some vitamins and I am going to try and eat something again around 4.

We're supposed to get a lot of snow tonight and I think that is fine with me since I can't afford to go anywhere anyway. My room needs a thorough de-germing. I am going to try and wash all my blankets and sheets etc later tonight.

Other than that I am going to pick through and reorganize the main music folder in the shared drive.

Blah.

Sometimes you just don't want to be alone.

Sometimes you can't do anything about it.

Out of smokes. Can't sleep. No car. No company.

This morning brought another strange dream after a lot of sleeping on and off.

In this dream it's spring or summer. For some reason, I wake up and go to a jewish funeral. Somehow it involved walking around a labrynth like mansion as part of some ritual. I don't know many people so I duck outside for a smoke break. Outside there are some people I used to know from highschool. Kate S. and John F., We hang out. We all decide to leave early as I am having trouble dealing. I don't know who the service is forbut I have an idea.

We all pile into the car and drive to my house. We get home chill and smoke. As it turns out, somehow Martin did come back with us. About an hour later he arrives in another car. All of this has made him very late for work. I get yelled at by a few of my friends who drove him back to my place. I can't remember why I was in such a hurry to leave.

and then I woke up going wtf?

So here is what I remember of the dream, I tried to get it down immidiately.

Our family (in the dream my mother and father will be played by the part of complete strangers) takes a pre family wedding trip. We end up in Sri Lanka. The hotel took a long time to get to may have gone to Madrid first, and taken some weird ass tunnel/ path system. There lots of steps in the final hotel. It was a few floors. Once we settle in, in laws are at the hotel with as well which apparently I encouraged at one point but am now upset about because I can't go anywhere without seeing them. They are at dinner, they are at the local club, they are at karaoke. I was very mad about the karaoke. I decide to go swimming, shortly after which the pool is taken over by nick and girlfriend (also played by strangers in this dream.) Jokes are made at their expense. Steph makes a good one, I have to explain it to the girlfriend. "She is saying you're cheap, but I think instead of mocking your virtue, she should be mocking your intelligence." Steph laughs, girl storms off. I try to nap. Martin tries to "psst, psst" wake me because there are goats wandering around in this hotel and they tend to attack feet under blankets. (Apparently, there are also classes to learn how to tame them and ride them, they are saddled up like Yoshi in super Mario, I shit you not.) So I ignore Martins attempts to wake me and end up kicking to goat to get it off my foot. After that the lady who appears to be playing my Mom in this dream tells Martin he's going to have to go back to the states to help Pierre Robert master a live album recording of Joan Jett with one of her obscure traveling guitarists and only he could do this for some reason. (This one I blame on sleeping while listening to WMMR.) I was contenplating leaving the vacation too when I woke up.

I am trying shading with the tablet, using Paint shop pro and the pencil brushes.



It's a (less tubby) self portrait. Teh tattoos are not all accounted for but I am too tired of looking at it to fix it just now.

This is good practice :)

( Cut for space. )

Excuse the crappiness.

( These are big, so I cut for space. )

Ugh.

This is going around on facebook, and I thought I'd post it here. I'm not tagging anyone. If you want to do it, you should, and leave a comment so I can go read it.

1.) I have on more than one occasion referred to myself as the "Young female equivalent of Woody Allen." I stand by that description. Who's got two thumbs and is ridiculously neurotic? This girl!

( Cut for the sake of your friends page #2-25 )

So this weekend was a mixed bag.

My friend Dave came into town whom I haven't seen in 3 years. He was missed. It was nice to see him again.

My Aunt B died friday ... I am so bad with things like this. I tried to say something comforting to my uncle but only ended up saying something tottaly retarded making him feel worse.

My dad is dealing with his grief by yelling at me and making me feel like the scum of the earth. Also, making Dave feel terrible awkward, because he was staying here, and that was used as ammunition against me as to why I am a thoughtless asshole.

I had a fight with a friend, and I am getting to what may be a last straw. I honestly don't even know why I open my mouth any more because even if I start out with a valid point, it gets me into trouble. How do you tell someone you think they are potentially ruining thier life without ruining your friendship too? Is there a card for that?

Martin came home from Boston last night, and not a moment too soon. I missed him, and I needed the comfort of just being around him.

Dave is at the train station, I took Martin to work and now I am looking for a job, and trying to get an extension on my secret shopping duties. So I will try to continue to be productive today. I already cleaned the kitchen. I should probably run the dishwasher so I don't have to hear how I am the laziest white woman on earth again ... yes ... I will go do that now.

and, now 2 quotes from this weekend that we found particularly amusing:

On the fact that the strength/flavor of absinthe give you a shiver sometimes: "So, apparently, drinking absinthe makes you an extra in thriller."

On the fact that my 2 hook ups in Philly are a friend who works at Passional and would maybe help out on a discount, or my uncle Danny who gets us free admissions and v.i.p. treatment at the Franklin Institute:

"So those are my two connections downtown. I can take you to the Franklin and fill you up with science, or to the fake dick emporium and full you up with that."

to which Dave responded "Oh, no! Please don't."